i bambini! [ why I fell in love with Italia #6 ]

Oh yes, here I am talking about the kids of the Centro Educativo, trying not to burst into tears in the first line.

I had worked with kids before. Not in a professional way, let's say. But for many years I was responsable for helping with the musical and theatrical activities in a cultural/sports association (I was kind of a volunteer, because I was doing it for free, only because I wanted to). 

Then, last year, I was going to schools to speak with young people about bullying, etc (this also as volunteer).

And here I am as a volunteer again. Volunteer forever!   But let me tell you something. Even though it would seem like a "oh I did this before" thing, I was taken to another level of life. And you can argue "yeah yeah, but kids are kids no matter where", but I'm going to show why it was so different and special. 

Starting with my first day there. Everything was new. Starting with the language. Then I was helping a kid with his homework and out of nowhere he started reading italiano very slowly... to make me understand it better. And - this was unexpected - he even started explaining some words in ENGLISH! How can you not love this? It was so natural of him. In this very first day I returned home with one certain thing: the next months would be emotionally thrilling. 

And they were. Oh mother, they were!

In the Center we have kids with many different backgrounds, with diverse social habits, religions and with different... problems.

And I cannot write so much about it. But I highlighted some moments to make you understand how these kids treated me really, really in an amazing and lovely way.

A dialog. 

"Filipe, do you want to come with me and my parents on vacation to the beach?"

"Ohhh... thank you, but I can't. I have to be here in the Center everyday."

"Dont worry. I will tell my dad to call the boss and she will let you go with us."

Another dialog:

"Filipe, do you miss your family in Portugal?"

"Yes, I miss them a lot... of course".

"And do you have to go back?"

"Yes. I have to see them."

"And can't we go pick them by train so you can stay here?"

:D :D :D Life is so easy and pratical when you're a kid. This totally gave me shivers. 

This next one is more serious. This was a really difficult kid. And many days I was like taking care of him. This day he had to study History but he was too agitated and didn't wanted to. So I was like "Okkkk... let's play calcino". (table football)

We went... and while we played, I started asking questions about History and what he had to study. And he answered everything. And he KNEW everything. This showed me that there isn't one single kid lost in the world. You just have to search new ways to do things (when you can)... and then... score some goals! Think again: we studied History while playing table football!! :O

And now I have to say this. All the educators of this Center taught me a lot about working with the kids in an educational matter. They were brilliant and let me repeat... brilliant! And I'm not saying this because I have to, but because it was really impressive to see them handle some situations with such calm towards the problems. They know how to do it. BRAVI!

Hmm, talking about problems. Let me say that I was never an easy kid. I was very good at school, but I was always a true rebel. Not easy to handle, I must honestly say. Ask my mom. No no, don't ask her, please! :P

And this enters here. The true is: I saw myself in many kids. I guess it happens to everyone in an Educational Center, but there was a kid that was more like a mirror of me.

He was trouble. But lovely. Deeply he was absolutely kind. But it took me a lot to understand it, because when it's your dark side that shines the most, it's not easy to show your true qualities. In the last weeks I was with him most of the time. And we talked a lot. Even when we was getting mad, I managed to keep us connected. I don't know why, really, don't ask me how. 

Yesterday we had the big party in the Center and in the end, knowing that I'm going Home shortly, he came and hugged me saying this: 

"You were my favourite here. I will miss you next year."

I don't even have to tell you what happened to me next, but I managed to tell him to be brave and good. 

And now I will finish with the two most difficult goodbyes I had with these kids. They happened today. I will explain why it was so hard. 

Two days a week I was doing homeworks with two special kids. But they were really, really special. Professionaly we call them disabled children, but for me they are extra able kids, 'cause they can reach you in so many different ways. For months I entered they worlds. I found happiness in diversity. I talked their language. Even when the conversation was about some pasta with superpowers. Even when for someone who could listen from outside, it would have no sense. And I loved every single word of it. For someone who likes to write, this was the best experience EVER, believe me. I will never have words to thank enough for this. 

It was also the biggest challenge.

In the begining I was scared, thinking that maybe I couldn't handle it. But then I understood that some things are just born within you. And I was surrounded, I must repeat, by amazing educators that showed me a lot on handling this situations. 

And now I'm crying like crazy. But I'm happy. Really happy because I lived all of this. And I will return Home with my heart full of love and after all I will make my mom proud. See? There isn't one single kid lost in the world.

Grazie a tutti voi! 

Servizio Volontario: a book?

A pic taken by in Firenze, because... amore!

I have 3 surprises saved for the end of my Servizio Volontario in Italia. 

This one was supposed to be saved until the last day, but I cannot hold it anymore, after so many months of processing this alone.

So... everyone was asking me "You're going to write a book about your experience as a volunteer, right?". Even a publisher asked me if I was interested in writing about my life here and publish a book on that. But I was like "hmm, no, that is too obvious...". So I decided that I would not publish (in a book) a single word about what I've been writing on my personal notebook... and living here as a volunteer.

And in January of this same year an ideia hit me. But really hard. It was a normal day. It was the end of another day in the Centro Educativo where I'm a volunteer. I was in the hall preparing to go home, when I saw the mother of one of the kids entering to pick him. How this gave me a powerful dose of inspiration? It was in her eyes. They spoke to me. All the love. All the tenderness. All the hapiness of seeing her kid in the end of the day... to take him Home. 

It was something completely normal, nothing irregular. But on my way home so many ideas started to pop up on my mind. For days, nights, I couldn't stop imagining a very original story about a kid and his mother.  

How can you not get inspiration in this place? [ Il Centro Educativo ]

And yes, my next book was born on this amazing place, on this amazing experience. Exactly when I was not even searching for it. I can't tell you much. It's fiction, total fiction, nothing based on my life here; it is not based on someone I've met here. But it is really based on so many feelings that I learned to appreciate here. And of course that working with these kids gave me many new ways to express my... inspiration. 

It is something that was born when I was reborn in Italia as a volunteer.

It already has a title. I love it, I really love it! 

And it will be published totally in english. I started writing it in english! Yes, as a first language. And then of course I will do the portuguese adaptation. But I chose english because it will be easier to reach people abroad... and because this language really became part of me in these months.

I had many plans regarding my future books, but I never saw this coming. This changed everything. And this one will be something HUGE, I can assure you.

It's my favourite story already. And it feels like it was given to me, like a gift. 

It is the tale of an autistic boy and his mother. It is the story of the struggle to raise a special kid in a tough world. And many chapters are told within the view of the kid, which is completely amazing, being able to express with my words the very unique world that he has inside. And something will take place in a very special city of Italia.

And that's all for now. I want to tell you everything, for real, but I can't. I just had to say this. 

I came here to change my life.

And oh boy, my life was taken to new levels of magnificent.

I'm writing this and crying of joy because I can't even really thank enough for all the things I've got here.

As I said, I have 3 surprises. So... now... 2 more to go.

FORLÌ! [ why I fell in love with Italia #5 ]

Texto em português e inglês, para PT vai mais ao fim da página. Obrigado! 

O Duomo (Catedral) e a vista da cidade do alto da torre maior.

Straight to the point. Forlì is the city where I most enjoyed living. Even with the distance from home, the lack of family and friends, I cannot lie and say otherwise. I fell in love, from the very first day. And that love has only grown. I’ll explain why.

Yes, amore mio, I was here in my past life.

It is calm but has... everything (the kind of city I like, 'cause I'm not into the chaos of the bigger cities, va bene?).

History! As a big fan of the Assassin's Creed games, I was eager to get to Forlì and visit sites that are present in the game's levels that take place in this city. But even forgetting that fan side, I have to admit the following. Forlì is a city full of history, with several outstanding periods of Italian history to have a key role here. For example, the struggle of Caterina Sforza, Duchess of the city that practically alone (without the help of other Italian states) fought against the forces of the Pope and against the army of Venice, defending the lands of Romagna, managing the military, arms, horses, etc., etc. And never surrendering! Who runs the world?? GIRLS!

In addition... the city has various architectural signs of the Fascism period, which was a horrible period and lefts visible marks, but some of them are positive (such as architecture!). Well ... it is perhaps the only positive thing, hmm ...

Forlì was also a scene of fighting in World War II, with German soldiers invading many places here (like the Educational Center where I’m a volunteer, YES! That’s true! Believe me!). And in one of the main streets of the city you can still see the marks of grenade explosions on the facade of a building. Sorry folks, but for a history lover like me, this is a treasure, I repeat, a TREASURE!

I went here alone so many times just to contemplate this wonder.

Trying not to do this text something extremely long, I'll just summarize other points. Forlì is a city that is close to the sea... and countryside, thus winning an amazing contrast. The city has many green areas, many parks and gardens (maybe this is quite normal in Italia, but I was not used to having  so MANY areas like this in a "small" city). Then it is connected to all major cities of the Emilia-Romagna region by train and from here you can easily reach cities such as Venezia, Bologna and Firenze (to name just three of them).

The train sation.

To finish this I’ll talk about something that surprised me. I have spoken here on the blog of how awesome is Italy and all the geek culture here, so I will now speak only of other events. In my 10 months here I went to the following events (and taking into account the following: I lived as a volunteer, with little money, so I could not go even to half of the events I wanted).

- Comics and Cosplay convention (one in December and one in May)

- Opera - My Fair Lady (Yes, yes and yes! )

- 2 Cinema Festival (one in October and another in March, one about Shorts and another about African Cinema).

- FREE theater plays (done by amateur groups, students, etc., etc.)

- Festival of Cannabis (and reggae music) - Oh yes, sonny, I wen there!

- A FREE photography expo on all volunteering in Italy.

- And in June and July happened so many FREE events in the streets and squares of Forlì that I’m not even able to say half of them, but I went to the outdoor cinema, I saw circus performers in Piazza, rock bands, pop and jazz singers; tango, country and tarantella dancers, etc, etc.

Me and Deadpool in a cosplay event here. BAM!

And there are so many other things that make this a city full of life. During these months I heard so many people complaining about this city, but these people are either blind, deaf or did not live in the same place as me (and I’m trying really hard no to attack these people with Deadpool jokes, BELIEVE ME!). 

After all… may be it is you that make a place... and not the other way around, right non?

- PORTUGUÊS -

Madrinha, avó e mãe. As minhas Rainhas em Forlì.

Directo ao ponto. Forlì é a cidade onde mais gostei de viver até hoje. Mesmo com a distância de casa, com a falta da família e dos amigos, não posso mentir e dizer o contrário. Apaixonei-me completamente, desde o primeiro dia. E esse amor só cresceu. Explico porquê. 

É uma cidade calma... mas que tem tudo (o tipo de cidade que eu gosto, porque não sou fã do caos das cidades maiores, va bene?)

História! Como grande fã de Assassin's Creed, eu estava ansioso para chegar a Forlì e visitar os locais que estão presentes nos níveis do jogo que decorrem nesta cidade. Mas mesmo esquecendo esse meu lado fã, tenho que admitir o seguinte. Forlì é uma cidade cheia de História, com vários períodos marcantes da História italiana a terem um papel fundamental aqui. Por exemplo, a luta de Caterina Sforza, duquesa da cidade, que praticamente sozinha (isto é, sem ajuda de outros Estados italianos) combateu contra as forças do Papa e contra o exército de Veneza, defendendo as terras da Romagna, gerindo os militares, armas, cavalos, etc, etc. E nunca se rendeu! Who runs the world?? GIRLS! 

Para além disso a cidade tem vários registos arquitectónicos do período do Fascismo, que foi um período horrível e que deixou marcas bem visíveis, mas algumas delas positivas (como a arquitectura!). Bem... é talvez a única coisa positiva, hmm...

Forlì foi também palco de confrontos na Segunda Guerra Mundial, com os soldados alemães a invadirem muitos locais aqui (até o Centro Educativo onde sou voluntário, SIM! Acredita!). E numa das principais ruas da cidade é ainda possível ver as marcas das explosões de granadas na fachada de um edifício. 

Desculpem lá, mas para um amante de História como eu, isto são tesouros, eu repito, TESOUROS!

Para não fazer deste texto algo extremamente longo, vou só resumir outros pontos. Forlí é uma cidade que está próxima do mar... e do campo, ganhando assim um contraste brutal. A cidade tem muitos espaços verdades, muitos parques e jardins (talvez isto seja muito normal em Itália, mas eu não estava habituado a ter TANTOS espaços assim numa cidade "pequena"). Depois está conectada a todas as principais cidades da região da Emilia-Romagna através do comboio e daqui é possível facilmente chegar a cidades como Venezia, Bologna e Firenze (citando apenas 3 exemplos).

Pormenores artísticos numa rua da cidade.

Para o fim deixo algo que me surpreendeu bastante. Já falei aqui no blog de como é awesome Italia e toda a sua cultura geek, por isso agora vou limitar-me a falar de outros eventos. Nos meus 10 meses aqui fui aos seguintes eventos (e tenham em conta o seguinte: eu vivi como voluntário, com pouco dinheiro, por isso não pude ir nem a metade dos eventos que queria).

- Feira de Comics e Cosplay (uma em Dezembro e outra em Maio)

- Ópera - My Fair Lady (Sim, sim e sim!)

- 2 festivais de Cinema (um em Outubro e outro em Março, um de Curtas e outro do Cinema Africano). 

- Peças de teatro GRÁTIS (de grupos amadores, de estudantes, etc, etc)

- Festival da Cannabis (e reggae music) - Oh yes, filhinho, eu fui!

- Uma mostra de fotografia GRATUITA sobre todo o voluntariado em Itália. 

- E em Junho e Julho aconteceram tantos eventos GRATUITOS pelas ruas e praças de Forlì que nem vou conseguir dizer metade deles, mas fui ao cinema ao ar livre, vi artistas de circo na Piazza, bandas de rock, cantores de jazz e pop; bailarinos de tango, country, tarantella, etc, etc.

E tantas outras coisas que fazem desta uma cidade cheia de vida. Durante estes meses ouvi tantas pessoas queixarem-se desta cidade, mas essa gente ou é cega, surda e muda ou não vivia no mesmo sítio que eu (e eu estou a esforçar-me para não fazer piadas do Deadpool com esta gente, ACREDITA!). 

Afinal... talvez sejas tu quem faz um sítio... e não o contrário, né non?

Uma rua.

Servizio Volontario - The will to go back!

in Trieste. 

I never saw this coming. My adventure in Italia is really full of surprises, even in the psychological/feelings/whatever way.

Two months ago I was literally crying about going back home. I was suffering about having to leave my Project. Then I decided to focus on what I still had to do here, because... carpe diem! 

And... in the last week something changed so much. It's not that I'm not loving my Project, because I am, even more than before!

Like... today we went to visit this amazing place with the kids. How can you not love this?

 But something has come to give me one extra strenght to move forward. This happened after I went one weekend alone to the AMAZING city of Trieste (coincidence?).

And of course I miss Home. I already had this will to go there to be with my family/friends. 

But this is something different. I really feel HAPPY to conclude my amazing journey here in Italia. I feel really EXCITED to pack my bags and go! I never thought this would be possible. FOR REAL! It is closure in its best, I guess!

If I would like to stay longer? Of course! If I will miss my Centro Educativo and those kids? More than any other thing in my life.  If I will return one day? That's for sure!

And one last thing I must say. Being the last one (from my group of volunteers) to go home is the best thing ever. It was hard to say arrivederci to every person that I've shared my life here in the last few months. And it happened in a week, day after day saying ciao ciao!

However... being the last one gives you that sense of liberty and peace, in the way that in your last weeks you no longer have to be saying goodbye to some friend almost every day.

The Servizio Volontario is many things, but now I discovered that it is really really really UNEXPECTED!

I'm living the most beautiful days of my life, when I thought I would be depressed forever in these last days.

La Pasta! [ why I fell in love with italia #4 ]

Tanto amore!

In Portugal, before, I was eating pizza, lasagna and pasta almost every week (not to say everyday!).  The thing is: la cucina italiana is the most international food. But if you think you're eating pasta in the right way, think again! And now I'm putting my inner italiano and going pazzo about food.

Let me say that I tittled this "La pasta", but in fact I fell in love with all the types of italian food (even the ones I knew before), but pasta is a perfect name for every blog post. Ah, wait, not all types of food here, let me put the bread (pane) out of this. Because it's the only italian thing that has no taste, no salt. And yeah, yeah, I know about the Salt War and its reasons, but we already lived more than 4 centuries after that sh*t happened, COME ON!

Well... lets go. The italian food is in fact really simple. For example, in Portugal whenever I was eating pasta and pizza I was putting lots of ingredients to it. LOTS!

And now I must say two things. One of the best plates of pasta I had was just macaroni and pomodoro e formaggio (tomato and cheese). One of the best pizze I ever had was just a simple margherita with egg. 

"I gelati sono buoni... ma costano milioni".

Also, I remember in my first days asking for a caffé macchiato (wich I was drinking also in Portugal) but here it's so different. They do it like it's art with such care, with such  a slow pace, really making it unique. I was amazed seeing them prepare a simple thing like caffé and latte. For them this is just so normal, but for me it was so beautiful to see. And I will not start to talk about gelato, because it's the best thing ever, you cannot eat like this in another part (ok... maybe those Santini in Lisboa. MAYBE!).

Pizza al taglio. The best way to eat pizza.

One funny thing, that sometimes can give you nerves, is that every italian is very strict with how you can eat. For example... in some regions it's safer for you if you're not asking for a plate of spaghetti with 4 formaggi. If you want to have a good stay, avoiding to start an endless discussion about food, ti raccomando! But if you want to avoid them calling the caribinieri to put you in jail, if you want to avoid international relations tension, you better not ask for ananas (pineapple) in a pizza. I know, I know, it's awesome. In Portugal we do it a lot. 

But one day I was talking to an italian about this and 5 minutes later I was fearing deportation. 

I'm not joking!

Ok, I am, a little. But believe me, they are very traditional in these things. And in the end I found this amazing, really amazing! I learned a lot. I will never eat pasta the same way. They made me change and I'm very happy for that.

Piadina. Traditional from my region - Emilia-Romagna. It's one of the best things you can eat in Italia.

I think that like this they are keeping the best things unaltered and this is simply wonderful, because in the end it makes the most international food even greater. It's like... you can eat outside of Italia, but never in the same way. 

And did you knew that italians are really skinny (like the 90% of them). I started to notice this after being here for 3 months. Whenever I was travelling I was thinking about this (because in Portugal and Spain it's REALLY different!).  And then I was like "HOW IS IT POSSIBLE?? IF YOU'RE EATING PASTA, PIZZA, PIADINA, EVERY FUCK*N DAY!!"

But yeah, after a while I realized that they eat in a very very very healthy way, with the simplicity of their plates. 

To end this topic about someone eating pizza everyday and staying skinny, I will just say 3 plates of portuguese food and you will know why: Feijoada, Cozido à Portuguesa, Carne de porco à alentejana. [ if you don't know it, google it please ]

As coisas de que tenho mais SAUDADES em Portugal

Lisboa, Lisboa... [ imagem Wikipédia ]

Obviamente que não vou incluir na lista... a família, amigos,a minha consola Xbox, a minha cadela e o meu gato, porque essas coisas são mais do que óbvias. São as primeiras coisas que me faltam, claro. SIM, a Xbox incluída... e pouco reclamar! Mas vamos descobrir aquilo de que também tenho muitas saudades. Ahhh.... a saudade!

A menos de 1 mês de regressar a Casa, conto-vos aquilo de que sinto mais falta aqui nesta minha distância em Itália.

 1- Como bom português, vou já cair no cliché e começar com a comida. Oh... os pastéis de nata!! Estes são a prova de que, mesmo com a globalização, há preciosidades que permanecem como tesouros nas suas origens. Pelo menos em Itália (que já corri de Norte a Sul) nunca encontrei um único pastel de nata! NEM QUEIJADAS! Mas não é só de doces que me alimento. Resumindo: sinto falta de comer bacalhau assado, no forno, com natas, etc.  E depois o típico frango assado (tão simples e tão bom!). Estranhamente sinto também falta de uma coisa que não é nada portuguesa... mas que associo a Portugal. E isto sou eu a sair do cliché agora de repente. Uma das primeiras cenas que vou fazer ao voltar é ir comer sushi com os amigos. SIM! Aqui em terras italianas, não podes sair e pagar 10€ para comer todo o tipo de sushi que quiseres. Nem sequer é algo que encontras em cada esquina (como em Lisboa). E sim, eu sou estranho. E sim podem começar já o processo de expatriação.

2- Lisboa! Depois de viajar tanto em Itália, depois de estar em Roma, Veneza, Nápoles, será estranho se eu disser que isso me deu ainda mais vontade de voltar a percorrer todos os cantinhos da minha Lisboa? Na minha vida com voluntários de toda a Europa aqui, também falei muito da nossa capital, de como é bela, de como a devem visitar (ou recordei-a com aqueles que já tinham visitado). Posto isto, se me apanho a descer o Chiado com umas notas de fado a ecoar rua abaixo, até penso que é mentira. Afinal eu praticamente cresci nesta cidade. Ela é minha e eu sou dela. 

Eu e Andreia no T, porque sim!

3 - Festas. Esta pode parecer estranho, mas devo dizer-vos uma coisa. Os italianos não sabem como fazer uma festa a sério. Desculpa Itália, eu amo-te de verdade, mas acabar (por exemplo) um Festival de música reggae à meia-noite... é ESTRANHO! Para dizer o mínimo. Eu estava lá, o Dj a tocar, chega a meia-noite: "Finito. Arrivederci. Ciao ciao!". Não se faz! Digamos que em Portugal, à meia-noite eu ainda estou em casa, a preparar-me para sair com os amigos. Não é propriamente a hora de voltar, mas a hora de sair. E aqui, seja em cidades pequenas ou grandes, tudo termina sempre mais cedo (mesmo em bares e discotecas!).  Eu sinto até falta das típicas festas de Verão nas aldeias! E depois... eu e todos os voluntários espanhóis chegámos à conclusão de que os italianos não são propriamente pessoas de dançar, são mais de ficar ali parados a olhar. Onde está o sangue latino minha gente? Não era suposto estarmos todos dentro desse estereótipo? :D Sendo assim, quando eu chegar quero ir para um bar, ouvir uma música POP a tocar e soltar o backup dancer que há em mim. 

Suicide Squad estreia exactamente na mesma semana em que regresso. Bam! 

4 - Cinema! SOCORRO! AJUDA! A sério... em Itália TODOS os filmes são dobrados. Mas como é possível alguém preferir ouvir o Ben Affleck a "falar" italiano a ouvi-lo falar na sua língua original? Novamente: SOCORRO! O problema é que só nas cidades grandes é que encontras uma ou outra sala de cinema que passa (ÀS VEZES!) os filmes na sua língua original. Eu ainda nem vi o Civil War ou o último X-men, exactamente por isso, porque recuso-me a ver uma coisa dobrada. Não dá. Eu tentei, mas simplesmente é ridículo. Claro que tenho ido ao cinema, ver filmes italianos (que amo e muito!), mas sinto falta de ir ver um blockbuster e relaxar com o todo o seu american english original. 

Torres Novas.

5 - Ah Ribatejo! Ou Ribatexas, como costumo chamar-lhe. É a minha região, onde nasci. São as paisagens que me acalmam a alma, que trazem o melhor de mim. E sinto falta da minha linda cidade, sim. Não pensem que sinto falta de cavalos e touradas (POR FAVOR!). Sinto saudade de apenas sair de carro e ter que parar na beira de uma estrada só para ver melhor o pôr do Sol acontecer por detrás da Serra d'Aire. Ai meus meninos, quando os meus olhinhos portugueses voltarem a cair sobre aquela paisagem, vem ao de cima todo o meu Fado e caio por terra, rendido. Afinal isto é: "Destino que nos amarra, por mais que seja negado às cordas de uma guitarra". 

La tranquilitá! (why I fell in love with Italia #3).

Photo taken by a kid in the Center where I'm a volunteer. 

FIRST: please play this song while you read. It is called "Salvation of Forli" (the city I live in, yes!). Listen. Grazie!

With this text I'll be heading to some deep introspective master yoda sh*t, but I couldn't care less.

As cheesy as it may sound, I found a new me doing my volunteer experience.

I have to confess that first this was scaring me, because I started to feel something really physical, like something new inside my chest whenever I thought about my life here (like my Center, the kids, etc). I felt this kind of calming emptiness, of no turbulence. 

It sounds crazy. And probably I won't be able to explain it to someone who didn't lived it.

But I have proofs. So I was feeling this tranquility, this inner peace, so strange to me, and I wasn't sure if this was showing up to other people around me. Of course that the people that I've met here (at work, at home) didn't knew me before this, so I wasn't expecting of them to notice something.

But then, after coming here to visit me, my mamma did the first comment on how different I was... for something better.

However, the biggest change came (I felt it) after I wen to Portugal in March. Here I am in the cliché territory again, but it was like I was reborn with the Spring (time of rebirth and inspiration)! My sister had an accident at that time and she was really bad, she couldn't move, etc. And I decided to stay there a bit more to be by her side. Stronger as she is, she recovered fast and she did the very first step (again) when I was still there taking her hand.

And while she was still continuing to learn how to walk again (not only metaphorly speaking), she came to Italia to visit Roma and Firenze with me.

How is this important to my experience here?

Let me tell you something. I'm not religious. I wasn't. I still ain't. But during the last months I came to the conclusion that I was being driven by a Force, something strange that I couldn't explain. What I felt most was that I was being protected by... something. 

And in the end, in the last months of my Servizio Volontario, everything started to make sense.

When I took my sister to see the Duomo in Firenze I ended up in tears. Of joy, of accomplishing something that I truly wanted to do. This thing was booked way before she had the incident, and contrary to what everything was pointing us, there we were!

Then I continued on my experience, loving my work as a volunteer, loving the Educational Center, loving the kids, loving my trips around Italia.

LOVE became indeed a strong and powerful word that started to be my company every single day.

Then I had to make a video to the It Gets Better Project, talking about how I suffered bullying, how I survived it and how I could inspire young people to live through it (this project fights against homophobic bullying). Again... How does it enter in my experience here?

Everything, inside and outside my Project here, became a part of my journey. I learned that. So, I did that video. And a friend, who is in Portugal, someone that I haven’t seen for more than a year, saw it and immediately commented with me: “Fi… you are so calm, so peaceful, so different”.

So… when I read this I had the ultimate proof that this is something that is now very visible and not only some crazy thing that I imagined. It is so powerful that through a video that has nothing to do with my life here (directly) I showed everything that changed inside (and out) of me.

I never felt this. For real. I don’t want to write too much now, because it’s too difficult trying not to seem arrogant saying this things. But try to thing about how is possible that in a video talking about suffering I managed to (without really wanting to) show so much inner peace?

But let me just say that I found myself making peace with some details (and people) from my past. Alone! In an ordinary day, while I was cooking my meal, I found myself thinking about something that had hurt me a long time ago, leaving me with anger, and here I was thinking of how anger would not lead me anywhere. I came to the conclusion that some emotions can only do you damage (I knew this before, but not in this pratical way of LETTING GO!). So... Time and distance. And this thing of being a volunteer, of working everyday with kids that need your positive energy, your care, your friendship. It’s the answer. Working with people that have bigger problems than you. I think, yes, that is a strong answer to everything! And of course, learning how to live with so much little (money, let's say) also changes your way of viewing everything. 

I told you. This is some deep thing that is not easy to express. But I found myself being able to completely relax in my moments alone, I learned how to love the silence; even when I got lost in Slovenia or when a man tried to pickpocket me in broad daylight here in Italia. There I was... so serene. So strange, let me tell you! But so not worried.

So I will end this text with only two more things.

First, the way Italians work (not only in my Center, because I talked about this with other volunteers, from other cities, etc)… well it is a really relaxed way. Comparing to the stressful work I was doing in Portugal, this is amazing. Really amazing to see, believe me! We used to joke that in our countries they make you work for 3 persons while in Italia they make 3 persons do the work of 1. This way of doing things, of facing problems, was a true inspiring thing that led me to this state of… tranquilità. No doubts! 

Second. It happened today. I’m kind of in charge of a really troubled kid right now. I can’t give so much detail. But he’s not easy. Sometimes he can be violent. Today he was entering in one of that crisis, starting to trouble everyone around. So I just did my part, not knowing at all what I was supposed to do, but I searched in my heart. Because yes!   And so I told him “Look… in less than 1 month, I’m going to Portugal, and seeing you like this isn’t a memory that I want to take with me”.

He started crying. He started talking. Truthfully talking about what he didn’t like about being there, etc, etc. The point is: I have no formation to be a professional in these things. I have only the experience. I tried. It worked.  In the end I know that he will continue to be problematic, that tomorrow we will have more work to do. But today it made my day. It made him, at least, being able to express himself.

We continued talking, really peaceful, relaxed, so close to each other (in terms of speaking), that one of the other kids came to me and out of nowhere asked:

“Is he your brother?” (I guess that our 'friendship' was showing)

And I just said “Nooooo, lucky me!”. And we laughed together. And I did it, I made him laugh. 

For a second he was smilling kindly. And this is one of the memories that I will want to remember after I go home. Through all my life, in moments of sadness (because they happen), I will have this piece of heartful memory to keep me moving forward.

After all of this, I can only feel peace, serenity and harmony deep inside. And this is the simple answer to so many questions. 

The Jedi Code.